Page 25 of From the Ashes

I huffed out a sigh, not looking up at her. I was too busy watching Charlie and making sure all his monitors were working correctly.

“I don’t need to go to orientation,” I replied. “It’s just a bunch of stupid ice breakers with strangers. I’m not interested.”

“But what about the freshman trip to the coast?”

I looked up at her, furrowing my brows. “You want me to go on afield tripwhile my best friend is in a coma? What is wrong with you?”

I’d decidednotto tell my parents about the kiss Charlie and I shared under the stars. It just added an unnecessary amount of complication to an already overwhelming situation. Besides, they didn’t question my unwavering loyalty to him or the fact that I’d spent all summersitting in the recliner across from his bed. They knew we were close, and I didn’t want to have to explain myself any more than I had to. I needed to focus on Charlie.

“Honey… you know that’s not what I meant.” She let out a long sigh, stepping up beside me. “Charlie wouldn’t want you wasting away in this hospital room. Not when you have so much life ahead of you.”

“You don’t know what he wants,” I scoffed. “Nobody does. And I’m not gonna leave him. What if he wakes up and I’m off gallivanting on the beach? How do you think he’d feel then?!”

“We don’t know if he…”

I snapped my head to the side, glaring up at her. “Don’t fucking say that,” I growled. “Neversay that!”

She shook her head, her eyes glistening. She was tired of arguing with me and at the end of her rope, but I didn’t give a shit. The man Ilovedwith all my heart was still in a coma even though they’d taken him off the medication over a week ago. He was fully healed now as far as the doctors could tell, but he’d been under for a long time. They figured it would take a couple of days for him to come out of it. But he didn’t. They were hopeful for the first couple of days since he was off life support completely. However, their faces became less hopeful as the days went by.

And now people were starting to say that he might never wake up.

But I wasn’t going to listen to it. Not from doctors, nurses, and especially not from my mother. I wanted to blame her, to call her terrible names for even suggesting thatmyCharlie wouldn’t come back to me. But I held my anger at bay as much as I could. We were all exhausted. The past three months had been some of the most difficult of my life.

We buried Charlie’s mother a week after the accident. The funeral service was small, and I was surprised at how little family showed upto see her off. My parents took care of most of the arrangements and paid for them out of pocket. Since everything she owned technically belonged to Charlie now, there was no way to see if she had money to cover such things. My stepdad made enough money to make sure it was nice despite the circumstances.

I’ve been calling the college almost daily to let them know what was going on and assure them that Charlie would wake up in time to claim his scholarship. The deadline came and went for his final paperwork to be signed and even with an extension from the Dean himself, it was too late. I knew that if Charlie woke up right that instant and somehow was well enough physically and mentally to go to college with me, all his funding would be gone. Class registration was over, and everything was locked in place. He wouldn’t be going to school with me. Not this year at least.

I tried to get my parents to agree to let me drop out and wait another year, but they wouldn’t hear of it. Not after all the hard work I’d gone through to secure my place and my funding. I didn’t have a full-ride like Charlie, but I won a large enough scholarship that turning it down would be a damn foolish thing to do. The chances of me securing it again if I quit now were slim to none. In four days I had to start classes whether I liked it or not and taking them online wasn’t an option. I was dreading the moment I had to leave and pushing it off as far as I could. Freshman orientation was optional, but starting on Monday was not.

But I didn’t want to leave Charlie. Despite his constant care at the hospital, he’d dropped a scary amount of weight. His skin was loose and nearly colorless after three months under the fluorescent lights. His hair had grown past his ears and curled near his neck. He looked so lifeless and sallow compared to the bright, smiling man I’d known the night of our graduation. That night under the stars felt like it was a lifetime ago. Sometimes, late at night, I would sit in his hospital room staring up at the dark sky through his window and wonder ifwe’d ever find our way back out to the creek again. I sure hoped we would.

I’d taken to wearing the opal arrowhead I’d given him so long ago. It was one of the few things that survived the crash. The string had to be replaced with a leather cord, but I kept it tucked under my shirt at all times, the cool stone resting near my heart, right where Charlie should be. It was the only piece of our old life I had besides the memories. Even holding his hand had lost its previous comfort. Now I spent nearly every day praying to a god I didn’t believe in and begging Charlie to come back to me.

So far, none of it had worked.

“Please, honey,” my mother said, interrupting my thoughts. “You really need to get things packed–”

“Will you stop badgering me?!” I snapped, glaring at her. “I know you want me to abandon my best friend but I’m not going to do it!”

Her hand went to her mouth, and I knew I’d gone too far as her eyes filled with tears. Shaking her head, she walked out of the room, pushing my stepfather aside when he tried to comfort her.

I let out a long sigh, knowing I’d done wrong by her. But I was just so tired… of everything. I leaned forward, letting my head rest against Charlie’s bed, his hand still held in mine. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, but a hand on my shoulder snapped me back to my senses.

“Son,” Ted said, his voice low and soft. “I know you’re upset. We all are. But yelling at your mother isn’t going to help.”

“I know…” I sighed.

“I understand what we’re asking you–”

“Do you though?” I replied, looking up at him. “Do either of youreallyunderstand what you’re asking me to do? You want me to leave my best friend… myonlyfriend behind in his time of greatest needjust for some school that I don’t want to go to anyway. How is that fair?”

“It’s not fair.”

I stared at him, perplexed by his answer.

“None of this is fair, Phoenix. Not the accident, not the loss of Mrs. Miller, and definitely not the fact that Charlie has been in a coma for over three months. If anything, this is the most unfair thing I’ve seen in my entire life.”

I didn’t know what to say, but it was nice to be heard for once. Ted understood. I could see it in his eyes.