Page 71 of Shadow Kissed

She shakes her head at me and reaches out and squeezes my knee. “You’re no good to anyone dead.”

I’m no good to anyone alive.

Guilt.

Regret.

“Never mind me. How are you?”

She smiles and pats my hand. “Oh, I’m fine. I have my gardens and my paintings and my charitable work. Have you been to the orphanage? How are the children there?”

“Good,” I tell her, smiling. “They are all flourishing under the care of the guardians.”

“Good. I am pleased to hear it. Jasiel, how is he?”

“Fine. His usual spirited self. He’s talking about taking a wife at the reaping.”

Mother laughs. “Well, I never. And you, are you prepared to do your duty?”

I don’t miss the tightness in her smile. “You know my feelings on the matter, but what the king commands, I must obey.”

She leans closer to me and strokes her thumb across my cheek gently. “You may find true happiness in the female you choose. Don’t let past events blind you.”

I sigh, leaning into her touch. “I will do my duty.”

She reluctantly pulls away and picks her paint brush back up. “I hear there are two girls at the mansion. Both of them orphans. How are they faring?” she asks me with genuine concern. That’s my mother, always thinking of others.

I clear my throat and look away from her gaze. “They are both doing okay. Settling into the mansion.”

“One has sparked your interest!” she says, watching me closely. “You can’t hide anything from me, boy. I know you too well.”

I frown and swear internally at my mother’s astuteness. “She is troublesome and does nothing but frustrate me.”

Mother grins and chuckles. “There is a fine line between love and hate.”

I shake my head. “She hates our kind as much as I do hers.”

Mother’s smile fades away. “I hold no ill will towards any Asen. We are all victims of situations out of our control, just as your female is.”

I snicker. “She isn’t my female.”

“But she could be, if you chose it to be so. You need someone by your side. A strong woman will challenge you to be the best version of yourself.”

I sigh. Despite her own experiences, she still loves my father. She is still as devoted to him as she was the day she met him, and their betrothal was announced at court.

“Will you have tea with me?” she asks, and I’m grateful for the change in subject.

“I’d like nothing more,” I reply, rising from my seat to escort her back towards her quarters. Being here is suffocating, but for her I will bear it. I owe her that much and more besides.

Ireturn shortly before dusk. Feeling relieved to escape my past. I itch to see Terror, so I shadow weave straight to the mansion. I arrive in her room and find her lying on her front on her bed with a book in her hand. She doesn’t sense my arrival, and this allows me to watch her unhindered for a while. She is bewitching. Her long pale blonde curls fall down her back and she swings her crossed legs back and forth as she reads. She looks relaxed and comfortable.

“What are you reading?”

“Mother Goddess!” She yelps, dropping her book over the edge of the bed and sitting up. “You’re back.”

“You’re observant,” I reply dryly.

“You’re early,” she states, and I nod my head. “It seems I can’t stay away.”