Page 166 of Naughty November

I sucked in a sharp breath. I hadn’t expected Gene to come right out and admit to such a thing—or that it could be true.

“You have it,” I blurted.

This time, Gene’s smile widened. “Specifics, remember?” He tapped his chin before speaking again. “I assume you’ve been going to the club all this time. Have the Doms you’ve been working with been following the proper protocol? Or you’re unduly nervous right now?”

I drew my eyebrows together. “What makes you think I’ve been to the club? I haven’t set foot in Club Sensation since I left you. I figured you’d realize that when you didn’t see me there.”

Gene straightened. “Well. I guess we’ve both been making assumptions about the other. And I also need to apologize. Even though you were the one who ran, I abandoned you. As your Dom, it was my responsibility to make sure you were okay.”

My heart thudded. He hadn’t been back to the club either? So much time wasted because of our individual fears.

“Actually, when Master Zane contacted me the next day, he said you were the one who requested a wellness check. I never thought you abandoned me.” I swallowed hard. “Quite the opposite.”

Gene shook his head. “I still should’ve reached out. Even with a note, something, anything. I rationalized my lack of action as being the proper thing to do, that when you bolted, you were cutting contact, and I shouldn’t cross that line.” He reached for my hand. “But that was my own cowardice. You meant so much to me.”

My heart felt as if it was being squeezed in a vice. “Are your feelings still in the past tense? I really need to know, Sir.”

Gene’s hand tightened around mine. “Don’t… Not unless you’re ready. I despaired of ever hearing you use that title for me again.”

“If I’m still in your heart, I mean it more than I’ve ever meant anything.”

“Alec, sweetheart, it never stopped being true.” He took my other hand and held them both sandwiched between his palms. “I never went back to the club, either. I couldn’t bear it—not without you by my side.”

My cheeks heated. Now I felt like the biggest asshat in the world.I’d seriously fucked up. No one had ever treated me with such care and affection—with or without the D/s aspect.

“Oh, God. I have to say it again. I’m so sorry. Not that this justifies what I did, but I was terrified of my feelings for you.”

“Can you tell me why?”

Communication. That’s what I’d been taught by not only Gene, but the Dommes before him. I had to show him how serious I was.

“Because it meant a real relationship. I know your family accepts you, but mine won’t. I really only have my nana and a couple of aunts left.” I grunted. “My mom and I haven’t had contact in years, so that doesn’t matter. Anyway, I was afraid of what coming out would mean. Even my friends.” I shrugged my shoulders, my old fears no longer holding me in the iron grip they once had. “But being without you is so much worse than not having their acceptance.”

I lifted my eyes to check his reaction and was met with his soft smile. Was there hope?

“I’m very proud of you, Alec. I’m also sorry you had to suffer through all this alone. I wish I could’ve been there to help you.”

“What did you always tell me? What’s done is done, or something along those lines?”

He chuckled. “Very good. That’s right. Time to move forward.” He squeezed my hands. “I’m curious. If you aren’t going to the club anymore, how did you know about Marc and Foster’s reception?”

Now I was going to sound like a stalker. But in for a penny…

“I called Master Zane for advice. He asked if I wanted to rejoin the club, and when I said yes, he told me I was now invited to the celebration.” My face heated again. “He suggested I speak with Marc since you guys are such good friends. He told me I might find you here, which would be better than reconnecting at the club. But he never mentioned anything about you not going to the club anymore.”

Gene smiled, the corners of his crinkling. “He wouldn’t have told you anything about me. He wanted us to find our way back to each other organically.” He chuckled again. “Well, with a little push first.”

Giddiness swept over me. This was real. Gene was interested, wanted us to give it another try. I wasn’t foolish enough to believe we could pick up where we left off, or I’d get a contract back that I’d sohappily signed then abandoned. But I had an idea of how we could start.

I squirmed on the cushion. “So, I guess you don’t know about the list then? You know, since you haven’t been to the club lately.”

He furrowed his brow. “List?”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “There’s this list going around on social media, like kink pages and whatnot. Master Zane brought it up when we spoke. It’s a challenge for November where you pick two kinks from the list you’ve never tried before.”

Gene’s eyebrows shot up. “Go on.”

I gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I thought it might be something we can do. A touchpoint for us to begin again.”