Page 37 of Pucking Only
"So, spill it," she says. "You told me the other night that you and Zander should just be friends. What changed your mind? Why are you suddenly going out with the guy?"
I pause, trying to come up with a plausible explanation that doesn't involve revealing what Zander told me when he initially asked me out.
"Well," I begin, feigning nonchalance, "I figured, why not? He's a nice guy, and he's stupid attractive."
Grace arches an eyebrow skeptically. "Uh-huh. And that's it? Just because he's nice and attractive?"
I bite my lip. I can't tell her the real reason — that Carson’s apparent approval of Zander asking me out caught me so offguard that I said yes because I didn’t really know how else to respond.
"Yeah, I mean... he asked, and I thought, why not give it a shot? It could be fun."
Grace studies me for long moments and I can tell she’s not entirely convinced by my explanation.
However, she doesn’t press the topic further. She simply shrugs and says, "Okay, Sky. If you say so."
I turn back to the mirror, checking my reflection once more. The dress hugs my curves just right, and I've let my hair cascade in loose waves over my shoulders.
"I'm sure it'll be fine," I say more to myself than to Grace.
“I’ve never seen you hesitate to go after a guy,” she muses. “And I’ve never seen you toe the relationship line before. What’s got you all twisted up inside about Zander?”
“Nothing,” I insist. “I’m not twisted up inside. I’m looking forward to going out with him, and one date doesn’t make a relationship. Just better sex.”
“Uh huh,” she replies, clearly not convinced. “I’m just confused. He’s pretty perfect for you in addition to being gorgeous and you’re not frothing at the mouth. How long has it been since you’ve been out with a guy, anyway?”
It’s a fair question and a sharp observation. Out of all of Grace’s friends, I was definitely the most outgoing when it came to boys and sex in college. Parties, dates, the thrill of new connections — I thrived on the whirlwind of excitement. But that was years ago. Since starting work atCode Kickers, my life has been consumed by codes, deadlines, and as of late, learning the ins and outs of hockey. My dating life just hasn’t been a priority. I’ve been pouring all my time and energy into my career. Random hook-ups and situationships just haven’t held as much appeal as they did before.
I brush a strand of hair out of my face and glance at Grace’s reflection.
“I haven’t really had the energy for dating since I started working,” I confess, my voice tinged with a hint of embarrassment.
Grace’s eyebrows shoot up in shock. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. I’ve just been focused on work.” I sigh, staring back at my reflection in the mirror. “This will be good for me, and I couldn’t have asked for a better guy to hang out with. I mean, really, if nothing else, I’ll let Zander know how I feel. We can have some fun and there doesn’t have to be any pressure.”
Grace smirks. “You’re finally admitting you like him?”
I roll my eyes. “I never said I didn’t like him. He’s nice, he’s attractive, and we get along well. I’ve just been cautious because of work and — ,” I hesitate, not wanting to admit that the real reason is that Carson is haunting me in the back of my mind, his eyes narrowed into a disapproving glare as he presses me against a brick wall, “ — and my friendship with Zander. Hookups and casual flings are one thing, but a real friendship is something else.”
Grace gets up and crosses the room to me. She wraps her arms around me from behind and hugs me tight. “Skyler, you deserve to be loved. You deserve to find someone special. I know you’ve never really wanted a committed relationship, but maybe that’s just because you haven’t met the right person yet. Maybe Zander’s the right guy.”
I shrug, a lump forming in my throat. “Maybe.”
Everything she’s saying is absolutely true…so why can’t I seem to feel the same heat with Zander that I do with Carson? I try to push that question away and tell myself I’m not a teenager anymore. I don’t need to buy into that whole spark thing. I’m an adult and I know that some relationships are a slow-build. Maybe that’s what would happen between Zander and me. Did I really want wild passion and heat if it meant instability?
That’s what I would get with Carson…not that I’m entertaining the idea of being with him. I’m not. Not in the slightest.
Grace gives me another tight squeeze before stepping back. “Alright, I should get going. Zander will be here any minute.”
As if on cue, there’s a knock at the door. My heart skips a beat. Grace winks at me and heads for the door.
“Have fun tonight, Sky,” she says, her tone teasing.
“Thanks, Grace,” I manage to say before she opens the door and slips out, giving Zander a wave hello and goodbye as she passes him.
I take a deep breath and open the door wider. Zander stands there, looking effortlessly handsome in a simple button-down and jeans. His eyes light up when he sees me, and I can’t help but smile.
“Hey, Skyler,” he says, his voice warm and inviting.