Page 127 of Accepting Fate
The hurt in his voice brings me to tears. I want to wrap my arms around him, but I already know it’s going to hurt. So, I slip my hand under the hem of his shirt, feeling his warm skin beneath.
"I’m-m sorry, Bear.” My voice shakes, unable to stop crying.
"No. It’s not your fault. I should have been there. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I push against him slightly so he leans back, his eyes finding mine.
"Hey. This is not your fault," I tell him. "It’s his.” He tries to interrupt me, but I stop him and continue. "Listen to me. None of this was your fault. He was going to attack at some point, and it was only a matter of time. I knew you were coming so I tried to keep him there as long as I could, but he lost a bunch of weight and was a lot stronger than me. Even if I didn’t make it, I knew you would find him and make sure he never did this to another girl.”
The night comes flooding back and chills run up my spine. The feeling of him on top of me, and thinking I’m seconds from death, causes my chest to tighten. Grayson’s hurt voice as I faded away replays in my head and I remember thinking I might never see him again. The room starts to spin, and my chest tightens more. Every breath I take feels like a million knives are stabbing me at one time.
Grayson’s hands cup both sides of my face and he lowers his face inches from mine. "Hey. You’re safe. It’s okay. I know it’s hard, but you have to try and not panic.”
I try but I can’t control it. I feel like the room is closing in on me.
A nurse walks in and rushes over to the side of the bed.
"She’s having a panic attack,” Grayson tells her, the words spilling out of his mouth at rapid speed.
"Logan. Honey. I’m going to give you something to help you calm down, okay?”
I shake my head. "No. I don’t want to go back to sleep. Please, no.”
I look to Grayson for help, and he searches my eyes.
"P-Please, Bear,” I beg between breaths.
If I go to sleep, I know the nightmares will come and I can’t handle that right now.
"Okay, Angel.” He glances at the nurse. "Is there anything you can give her that won’t make her go to sleep?”
The nurse looks between the both of us and watches me try to calm myself down. I close my eyes and go to my favorite place.
The water flows over the cliff and hits the lake below. The wind whistles through the trees and the birds singing echoes throughout the deep forest.
"That’s it, Angel.” I feel Grayson brush my hair back and kiss my forehead.
I stand on the edge of the rock and watch the clear water below. My breathing slows and when I feel like I have a handle on it, I open my eyes.
Grayson is watching me, holding my uninjured hand tightly.
The nurse stands back typing something on the computer.
"Sorry.” I should feel embarrassed, but Grayson taught me not to hide my emotions.
The nurse stops what she’s doing and walks back over to me. "Don’t apologize. You have been through a lot. It’s normal but I’m sure you know that. I think you should know I’ve been instructed by half the hospital to make sure you get the best care possible. You have a lot of people in your corner, girl,” she says with a small laugh.
I smile at the thought of all my favorite nurses and doctors lecturing this poor girl. The movement causes me to wince.
Fuck. Broken ribs are no joke.
"How about we get you some meds for the pain? You need your rest, but I will give you something that won’t make you drowsy. But you have to promise to take it easy.”
"I promise. Thank you—” I look for her name badge, but I can’t see it.
"Oh, shit. My name is Jay. Sorry.”
"It’s okay. Thanks, Jay.”