Page 11 of Keeping Lilith

No, she would not be weak. She wouldn’t lean on anyone. She could do this herself. This time, she would not fail. She’d been given a second chance—or was it a third chance?—to make something of her life, and she planned to grasp it with both hands. It didn’t matter that she had no plan. She had time to figure it out—at least a couple of days before she had to make any big decisions.

All Lilith knew was, this time was going to be different.

This time, she wouldn’t be sucked back into a life of servitude.

Chapter Six

Julian stoodin the doorway of Lilith’s room. The new clothes on the bed made him smile inwardly. Of course Cass would’ve made sure that Lilith had something to wear other than the excuse for a dress she was currently wearing. No doubt Cass had contacted the other women, and they would’ve all purchased what Lilith needed.

Emotions flitted across Lilith’s face in quick succession after Cass left them alone. Fear, worry, and finally, determination. He liked seeing that last one. Liked seeing that spark of fight brighten her eyes.

“Why are you still here, Julian? I asked you to leave.” The tiredness in her voice was evident. He hated hearing it. Her tone should match the fire in her eyes.

Was he asking too much? Of course he was. Her world changed a few hours ago. Why was he expecting so much of her?

He should go. Should leave her alone, yet the same pull that he’d felt toward her all those years ago was still there. That need to be close to her, to talk to her like they had that one time, before he’d been a jerk toward her. He deserved her contempt and hatred. He’d done nothing to prove that he wasn’t like theperson she once knew him to be. If he wanted to get close to her, he had a lot of work to do to make that happen.

“I'm here because I care.”

“Seriously? You expect me to believe that you care for me? You don't give a damn about what happened to me! Why don't you just return to your old life before you found me? Forget I even exist. Forget you found me at The Hopeful Sunshine. I want you to leave, Julian. Please.”

It was the begging in her voice that cut deep. The tirade he welcomed because it was that fire he wanted from her.

Julian didn't want to go, but he also didn't want to force himself onto her. Not only did he not have the right—he’d forfeited that a long time ago—he didn’t know what she’d been through while at The Hopeful Sunshine.

Had no idea what they’d made her do. Or how they treated her—which he imagined hadn’t been like a queen. Or like the way men should treat women—with love and respect. No, considering her unkemptness, it was likely she hadn’t been given the most basic of privileges.

It didn't matter that it appeared as though she lived by herself and not with one of the men in the cult. If she had been married off—and he used that term loosely as none of the marriages in an organization like The Hopeful Sunshine would’ve been legal—she would’ve been living in much better accommodations.

“You can trust Irish and Cass. They'll help you with whatever you need. Or want. All you have to do is ask.” It wasn’t what he wanted to say. He had so many questions he wanted to ask, but now wasn’t the time. Julian wasn’t sure if there would ever be a right time. Or if Lilith would even allow him to ask her what he wanted to know.

“Yeah, right. They’re only doing this because of you, and I don't want to be indebted to anybody, especially friends of yours.”

Even though he’d been hoping it wouldn’t happen, the mistrust Lilith had toward anyone trying to help her wasn’t a shock. While he may have been in a different position all together when he’d been in Freedom and Love, in a certain way, he’d had his trust abused by the people who were supposed to care for him. Only he hadn’t known that. It was after he’d woken up to what was going on around him that he could see the lies he’d been fed for what they were.

But he needed to convince Lilith that she was safe here. Before he’d come to Lilith’s room, Irish had pulled him aside and told him she could stay there for as long as she wanted. Or needed. He and Cass had the room and wanted to help.

Julian appreciated the kindness Irish and Cass were showing a complete stranger. It wasn’t unexpected though. Over his time working with Alliez, he’d seen how Ox and his teams always went the extra mile for those who needed it.

“I know you will believe nothing I tell you, but when I say you can trust Cass and Irish, I’m not just speaking empty words. I’ve worked with both of them for a while now. They’re good people. They'll help you with anything you need. And they said you’re welcome to stay for as long as you want.”

Lilith’s eyes widened at his words, but a second later, she blinked, and her annoyed expression returned. “Right.”

Julian sighed. He needed to stop pushing. It was her first night out of her hovel. Her entire world had been turned upside down, and he expected her to believe him—a man who’d done nothing but turn his back on her when he’d given her the impression that he wanted to know her as a person, not as an object. “I'm sorry you went through what you did. I hope this time things will be different for you.”

With one last look, he turned and walked down the hallway, back toward the kitchen, where Irish and Cass were waiting.

He should leave, though. He should go home and forget that he'd ever seen Lilith again. But now that he'd seen her, he couldn't do it. He couldn’t walk away. Not this time. Not even when the sound of her door closing sounded so final.

The low hum of conversation between Irish and Cass stopped when he walked into the kitchen. Cass looked up and gave him a sympathetic smile. “Is she okay?”

Julian pulled out a chair and slumped down in it. “I don't know. She doesn’t want to talk to me.”

Irish sat next to him. “How do you know her?”

This was a question he’d been expecting, and tendrils of shame swirled through him at what he would have to say to the two people he considered good friends. “She was in Freedom and Love. With the way things were, we didn’t cross paths much, except on one occasion. But I was aware of her.”

No way was Julian going to elaborate on what happened after their conversation. That was between him and Lilith. The last thing she probably wanted was for everyone to know her past life. If she wanted to tell Irish and Cass, then it was up to her.