Page 79 of Bean

I kissed the corner of his mouth. “Yeah. It was. Too much?”

He laughed and squeezed his eyes shut. “I don’t think I want to do that very often. It was a lot. But I loved it.”

I kissed him again. “I’m going to get something to clean us up with, okay? I’ll be right back.”

He didn’t protest as I stood, adjusted myself so I wasn’t tenting my sweats, and then made my way into the hall. The bathroom was empty, so I ran a cloth under warm water, then turned and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Tameron standing there.

“Oh. Sorry, I?—”

He held up a hand, and my jaw snapped shut. “I don’t have my hearing aids in,” he said, “and I’m not good at reading lips without them.”

I nodded.

“I just want to say a couple of things.” He spoke differently now than he had at the table. Slower and softer and more cautiously pronounced, like he was afraid of getting the sounds he couldn’t hear all wrong.

I made a go-for-it gesture, and he smiled.

“Bean is precious to us.”

I tapped my temple, hoping it was universal enough to show him I knew.

His grin widened. “I know you know. I have a feeling he’s just as precious to you now. I want you to have patience and not run the next time it gets complicated. All of us are still dealing with trauma that will never fully heal, and he deserves to be loved through it.”

I nodded.

Tameron licked his lips. “Also, be glad I can take my hearing aids off because these walls are thin.”

I flushed hard, and he laughed.

“Don’t worry, Nash was downstairs, and Creek went over to sleep at Heath’s. He’s been where you are before, so I think he knows about the honeymoon phase.”

I patted my hand over my heart and mouthed, “Sorry.”

Tameron made a fist and rubbed it in a circle over his sternum. “This means sorry, but don’t be. I like the idea that all of us—no matter how fucked we are—are still worthy of love.” He turned away then, maybe on purpose so I couldn’t reply.

His words hurt my heart because I wondered how many of them had been viciously rejected after life-changing injuries like Bean had been. Was it all of them? Or was it a fear that it would happen?

I wondered if Bean worried that once things got complicated, I’d high-tail it out of there, which made my resolve to tell him the truth stronger. I knew it still wasn’t the time, but it would be soon. It would have to be. I could only keep my feelings quiet for so long.

I was completely gone on him, and all I wanted to know now was if my hope for us having a future had any ground to stand on.

I woke up alone with a note from Bean saying he’d gotten called into work early and that I could make myself at home. Creek and Tameron were both gone, but Nash might be there and had said I was welcome to stay.

It felt nice to be invited to stay, but I also wasn’t sure if I should. Everyone had gone out of their way to make me feel welcome, but Bean and I weren’t really anything apart from friends. There was nothing official between us beyond that, and I had no idea where we stood now.

It was obvious he liked me.He responded to me in ways no lover ever had. And he came to me for comfort. He let me romance the hell out of him during the day, screw his brains out by night, and hold him as he fell asleep. But I also knew there was so much more for him to experience.

I was his first man, and it felt selfish and almost cruel to take away his chance at meeting and getting to see how it was with other people. He’d never been with a man when he’d fallen into my bed. So what did that make me if I tried to be his one and only? I still wanted him for myself, but the fact remained that making him mine might be the most selfish thing I’d ever do.

The thought carried with me as I dressed and headed downstairs, but before I could sneak toward the front door, Nash peered around the corner.

“Oh good. You look hungry.Come eat.”

It definitely wasn’t a request. He gave me a pointed look, and I could see why he’d been such a good leader and why his men still followed him without question. I smiled at him and trailed behind him into the kitchen, where he had a small spread of breakfast laid out.

It had definitely been touched, but the eggs still looked warm, so I figured I’d just missed the others.

“Coffee,” he said, pointing to a carafe on the table.