Page 12 of Rage's Solace
Ray and Mia talk about their favorite dishes and draw me into their conversation as they look at the menu. I have no clue what they’re talking about, so I tell Mia to pick something for me. While she’s happily perusing the menu, I realize that Ray is staring at me. It’s the perfect time to ask him about the name thing.
“Do you mind if I ask why that nurse at the hospital called you Rage.”
Of course, Mia answers the question for him. “Ray joined and MC and his club name is Rage.”
I’m a little taken aback. I remember him loving to ride motorcycles but never took him for the type of man to join a gang. Again, it’s none of my business, so I don’t ask. But I can’t let it go in my mind and speculate that he must have been filled with rage at some point to have taken that nickname. I don’tknow enough about this man’s life to understand what he would have been enraged about.
My mind begins to fill with scenarios to explain the name, things that might have happened in the years since we were together. Maybe he lost someone close to him, like a wife. Or he was injured and lost some bodily movement. If that’s the case he’s recovered nicely. Oh God, I hope he didn’t lose a child. That would be horrific.
Ray comments, “I wonder what’s taking Meli so long?”
Mia starts to get up. “I can check on her.”
I reach out and touch her arm. “No, I’ll check on her. I have to go to the restroom anyway.”
Ray takes another drink of his juice and responds, “Yeah, Mia. Let your mom go. You might have to help me wrangle the dog out of the restaurant again. You know how he is.”
My daughter’s voice turns serious. “It’s because people feed him scraps. And that dog has a name. Calling him dog is disrespectful. It’s like calling you guy or man.”
Ray just shrugs. “I’ll answer to anything but an obscenity.”
It’s both heartwarming and heartbreaking to see the easy interaction they have with each other. Heartbreaking, because I know once I’m healed then we’ll probably not see one another again. I get to my feet and head back to the restroom. I find Meli standing in front of the mirror with both hands resting on the sink.
I don’t really know how to start the conversation, so I ask, “Is everything okay?”
Her head slowly lifts, and she looks over at me. Her expression is something approaching tragic. “It’s all you. You’re the reason he is called Rage.”
I step back and lean against the doorframe shaking my head. “What do you mean?”
“You were the one who broke his heart. He was so angry for so long, always raging about how unfair the world was. This was your doing.”
I just keep shaking my head. She can’t be right. There is no way. “No, you’ve got it all wrong.”
“I do not think I so.” Pointing at her eye, she says, “I have eyes that see. That sweet daughter of yours looks like Rage. The thick brown hair, the green eyes. They are the same.”
My mind flails wildly, groping to come up with something to explain this situation. She’s mistaken, I know what she sees, but it’s not true. “No, that’s not true. She looks like her father…” I stop suddenly as an image of her father crosses my mind. His face contorted with anger. “If you think she looks like Rage you need to know it’s just a coincidence.”
Taking a step closer to me, she searches my face. Whatever she’s looking for, she doesn’t find it. “You lie, I think,” she says suspiciously, then adds, “Either to Rage or to yourself.”
I start to break down. “We were childhood sweethearts. He didn’t want me all those years ago and he doesn’t want me now.”
“How could you know this? You cannot read his mind.”
“I know he doesn’t want me because he said it out loud today. He’s not the settling down type and doesn’t want to be trapped by a wife or children.”
She still looks doubtful.
Exasperated, I tell her, “I can’t make him want me. Forcing him will just make him hate us.”
“Yet, you are with him now.”
“I have no place to go, and Rage is a nice man, who’s taking us in. I only accepted because of my daughter. I’m going to get on my feet fast and get a job. We’ll be out long before we wear out our welcome.”
“Very well,ma petite. I will have my eyes on you. You will not break his heart again. Am I clear?”
“Yes, of course,” I stammer. “I’ll be gone before you know it.”
“We shall see if all you say comes to pass,” she says as she splashes water on her face. She looks up and our eyes meet in the mirror, “And that little girl? I see, even if you don’t.”