Page 14 of Payoff Pitch
“Yes. That’s what the meeting is about. Bring your jersey. Maybe she’ll sign it.”
“Awesome.”
She runs upstairs to grab her Abbott jersey. When she returns, she asks, “Daddy, can I get a new sleeping bag for the camping trip next weekend?”
Harper’s class at her school is having a huge family camping trip next weekend. It’s a welcome-to-second-grade tradition at the school. A bit of a rite-of-passage bonding activity, and Harper has been looking forward to it all summer.
“What’s wrong with the one you have?”
Her adorable face scrunches in disgust. “It’s for babies. It has Bluey on it.”
“Did you ask Mommy?”
Her face falls. That means she asked Fallon, and she didn’t say yes. “Umm…well…”
“Harper, you only got it last year. It’s practically new.”
“But it’s for six-year-olds. I’m seven and a half.”
“I’ll talk to Mommy about it.”
She mumbles under her breath, “Now I’ll never get a new one.”
I cross my arms. “Don’t be a brat. Did you go to the bathroom this morning?”
Her frown turns into a smile. “I did.”
“And?”
“Echt.”
I twist my lips. “Hmm. That’s a hard one.”
For Christmas last year, one of Harper’s stockingstuffers was word of the day toilet paper. For some reason, Harper used to refuse to go to the bathroom in the mornings. She’d be ready to burst in the car on the way to school, often having accidents. I thought this might incentivize her to sit on the potty in the morning. We’ve made a bit of a game to see if she can stump me with unusual words.
It's been a massive success. She loves it so much that she begged me to stock her bathroom with rolls of it. It’s hard to constantly find new ones, but it’s working, so I do my best. I happen to have a high vocabulary, but I’m sure the day is coming when she finally stumps me. It started as a way to get her to use the bathroom, but increasing her vocabulary has quickly become an added bonus. Now and then I’ll hear her work one of the words into casual conversation. The looks on people’s faces are priceless.
“Do you know it?”
“Only that Mommy is an echt Philadelphian. It means true or genuine.”
Her face falls. “Why do you know so many words? Your brain must be huge.”
I wink. “I guess I’m an echt smart person.”
BAILEY
Coach Billie motions for our hands to meet in the middle. “Great practice today, ladies. No one beats the snakes.”
Kam raises an eyebrow and whispers to me, “I don’t mind beating certain snakes.”
Even though they didn’t hear her, Arizona and Ripley smile knowing what likely just came out of Kam’s mouth. Coach Billiehas a knack for making all Anacondas’ cheers unintentionally sound sexual.
Coach Billie is about fifteen years older than us. She was an outfielder in the Olympics twenty years ago. She’s got a ton of energy, and we all adore her, though she’s a little naïve at times.
Kam smirks at me before yelling. “Hell yeah, Coach Billie, no one will drain these snakes.”
Coach Billie’s dimpled smile grows. “That’s the spirit, Kam.”