Page 75 of Loving Jemima
He stepped back, looking concerned. “Alright then, if you’re sure?”
She nodded. “I’m sure. Um, thanks though, thanks anyway.”
“Just bang on the wall if you need something,” he said, still looking worried. “I’ll be right there.”
“Will do,” she was already pushing the door open, walking over the threshold and then, finally, banging it behind her and locking it tight. Locking it for the first time since she could remember. She’d always left it open for Paul to walk right in before.
And then her breath started to come faster.
Her fingers were losing feeling.
So she did the only thing she could think of to do.
“SO YOU JUST use freezing water?” Carys said, peering into the sink.
“It works like a charm, stops the panic in its tracks,” Ellie said, trying not to remember Jem’s hands holding her hair, Jem wiping away the water with her soft hands from her face.
“Probably not useful when you’re not at home though,” said Carys. “I mean, there’s not a lot of sinks on the tube, for example.”
Ellie wrapped the blanket around herself more tightly and pressed herself into the corner of the couch. “It did the job for now.”
The kettle came to a boil and Carys poured the tea, carefully carrying the cups over to the couch. “I’m sorry,bach, I truly am. You’ve had a rough few days, haven’t you?”
“Putting it mildly,” said Ellie, accepting the tea.
“Want me to go and rough up this Paul?”
“Maybe later,” said Ellie, cradling the warm mug in her hands. She hadn’t realized how cold she was. “I feel better with you here.”
“It’s not a problem, had nothing else to do on a Friday night anyway,” Carys said.
“You sure about that?” asked Ellie. The tea was warming her, making her feel slightly more human. And she was glad for the chance not to think about her own life for a minute or two. “Because when I rang Mo they didn’t pick up.”
“They’ve got karate class,” Carys said quickly.
“Which you know all about because you’ve memorized their schedule at this point?”
Carys snorted. “You’d know about it if you paid attention, it’s all they’ve been going on about all afternoon. You had your head buried in your computer.”
“Right,” Ellie said. She’d been attempting to distract herself all week. As long as she didn’t think about Jem, things were fine. But the second her mind stopped being busy she remembered it all and the hurt and betrayal came flooding back. How could she have done this? How could Jem have said what she said and then left her, dumped her by text, for God’s sake?
“Want to talk about it?” Ellie asked now.
Carys sighed. “You want distracting, I suppose.”
“You wanted to talk to me and I blew you off for a thousand reasons, which was rude. And I’m sorry. But I’m here now and I’m listening. You and Mo?”
“We kissed,” Carys said. She sniffed, settled down in the couch. “Then we cuddled. We watched some films. It’s nothing.”
“If it was nothing, you wouldn’t be bringing it up.”
Carys shrugged, biting her lip.
“What is it?” Ellie asked gently.
“I like them,” said Carys.
“So?”