Page 68 of Toxic Devotion

“I can’t lose you, too,” he croaked out.

He was pushed back gently, Neil’s hands cupping his tear-streaked cheeks. His eyes were warm orbs of silver as he stared down at Marco.

“You could never lose me.” Neil shook his head. “You’ve done everything to run me off and I’m still here.”

“I’m so tired,” he whispered, “of pretending that I don’t love you.”

Neil nodded and he wasn’t surprised that the man knew. As much as he’d hidden behind that façade of hatred and indifference, his true feelings for Neil had never diminished. He would love that man to his dying breath.

“I don’t care about any of it anymore,” he said, his voice coming out stronger than he dared hope for. “I just want us back. I want you at my side. I need you.”

There was fear in that gray gaze and fuck if he didn’t understand it. They had both gotten hurt. So much. They’d both paid a steep price for their love the first time around.

He threaded his fingers through Neil’s hair and watched as need spread in the man’s eyes. He brought their mouths together in a soft brush of lips, a shaky breath escaping him.

Neil helped him up and he dried his cheeks with the back of his hand and then he let Neil tug him down the hallway and into his bedroom. They undressed each other with careful movements as if neither of them dared to truly believe this was happening. He was terrified. Not only of getting hurt again but of losing Neil. The only person who truly understood him. The only person who had ever loved him for exactly who he was.

When he slid inside Neil now it was so different from how it had felt the past few years. He’d been holding back all that time. He’d been rough with Neil, but he’d been guarding his heart. He hadn’t let Neil see the truth of his feelings. He hadn’t let the love he felt shine through.

He threaded his fingers with Neil’s, pressing his hands into the mattress as he slowly started thrusting into him. Neil stared up at him, the look in his eyes so open and vulnerable. So filled with love.

He’d missed this. Missed seeing that love in Neil’s eyes as he brought them both pleasure. He’d missed who they used to be. The love. The trust. He wanted that back. He wanted to look at Neil and feel nothing but love.

“I love you,” Neil whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Marco felt a tear roll down his cheek and lowered his head to kiss Neil, a soft brush of their lips before he leaned back to meet Neil’s gaze.

“Ti amo, cuore mio.”

He came with Neil’s name on his lips and love in his heart, and he had never wanted anything to be more real than he hoped this was.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Neil

WAKING UP with Marco wrapped around him… he hadn’t had that in over four years. He hadn’t felt safe. He hadn’t felt loved. Not like this. Not in four years. He thought he’d never feel it again. The only thing that had kept him going over the years was the thought of getting justice for his Raiders, for Cade, and once they’d gotten that, he’d felt adrift. He’d pretended to be fine. He’d fooled everyone. Even himself.

He hadn’t been fine. He’d been lost. Unable to go home because Marco was his home. He always had been. Marco was the only family he’d ever had. Marco was the only family he would ever need or want.

“You look good in my bed,” Marco mumbled, eyes blinking slowly at Neil.

“Technically, this ismybed.”

Marco’s lips tilted upwards as he shook his head.

“If it’s yours, it’s mine,” Marco said and lifted the sheets covering them both, and then he disappeared under them.

“Marco,” Neil gasped out.

He dropped his head back onto his pillow the second he felt Marco’s warm lips against his skin. Marco settled between Neil’s legs, hands sliding up his thighs while he pressed kisses to his lower belly.

Heat flooded his system, lust burning instantly when Marco’s lips closed around his cock, using his mouth and devious tongue to get him hard. It didn’t take much.

He yanked the sheets off them, a groan escaping him at the sight of Marco sucking down his cock. He looked so fucking good with his cock in his mouth. He would never get over how hot Marco looked during sex. No one had ever turned him on like this sexy, handsome, and dangerous man. No one would ever fucking compare.

Marco’s allure was a combination of that dark glint in his eyes, the confidence he exuded, and that touch of softness behind all the harshness.

Marco sucked his cock like he was on a mission and that heat around his cock? The friction? It was too much. He couldn’t hold back. Didn’t want to. He came with a shout followed up by a whole lot of cursing. He dropped back against the mattress, his body tingling from his orgasm.