Page 28 of Cruel King
I don’t know if this is love, but if it isn’t, then I’m content to enjoy whatever this is between us.
* * *
By nine o’clock,my mind is filled with nothing but Matthias. When I saw Eleanor at dinner, she mentioned she was feeling tired and would probably turn in early tonight after all the excitement of the day. I was sure he’d come to see me by now since I know she’s gone to bed already.
A sinking feeling interrupts my anticipation at seeing him again. Did he regret our time together today so he’s not going to come to see me tonight? He’s so mercurial that it wouldn’t shock me.
Disappoint me, yes. Shock me, no.
Lost in thought about what makes Matthias King like he is, I don’t realize there’s someone at my bedroom door until I see him enter the room. My heart leaps in my chest at the sight of him smiling as he walks toward where I sit in bed.
“For the record, I knocked,” he says before stopping a few feet away from me.
“I thought maybe you forgot, or you didn’t want to…”
My sentence trails off as I silently chastise myself for being insecure. He’s here now, smiling and happy, so why did I even say that?
Matthias sits down hard next to me on the bed, making the mattress shift so I fall into him. Wrapping his arms around me, he kisses me long and deep, and it’s all I can do to not rip his T-shirt and those gray sweatpants off his body.
He leans back after another mind-blowing kiss and sighs. “Sorry I’m so late. I know you probably thought I was back to being the world’s biggest dick, but I swear I wasn’t. This snow has me all messed up, and I fell asleep, even though I didn’t think I was tired.”
Every word makes me happier than I thought possible, and I can’t keep the smile off my face. “It’s okay. Snow days are like that.”
Turning to glance at the TV, he asks, “What are you watching?”
I shrug, unsure what show it is. I just turned it on to keep my mind off him not showing up. “Not sure. I think it’s some mystery show.”
Matthias looks over at me and nods. “Do you like those kinds of shows?”
“Yeah. They can be interesting. Do you?”
“Sure. I’ll watch anything, as long as it isn’t some stupid love story.”
I sit up and cross my legs on top of the covers. “You don’t think much of love, do you? Seems to me if your cousin who lost his wife after three months can believe in love, you certainly could. I doubt you’ve ever been abandoned like he was.”
That makes him chuckle and shake his head. “Don’t be so sure. You have no idea what kind of women I’ve dated.”
A jolt of jealousy spikes inside me, so I plaster a smile on my face to hide my feelings. “True, but considering what you look like, I doubt you’ve ever been in a position like your cousin was.”
At that, he smiles, and he’s more stunning than usual. “He is sort of an ugly guy. Maybe that’s why she bailed on him after ninety days.”
“Aww, that sounds worse when you say it that way. I felt bad for him when I was thinking his wife left him after three months, but ninety days is so harsh.”
With a shrug, he leans over and kisses me softly on the center of my mouth. “He’s okay, so don’t worry. He’s got the anime girl.”
I stare into his deep brown eyes and feel myself getting lost in them, but I want to know why he’s so anti-love. “Well, that’s good, but you’re still very much not a fan of love from what I’m hearing.”
Pursing his lips, he nods his agreement. “Maybe I just haven’t met the right person.”
“Maybe.”
Part of me can’t help but wonder what he feels for me, but I can’t ask anything about that. We’re barely twelve hours from him making me think he hated me. With how quickly his moods change, who knows what kind of answer I’d get.
We sit in silence watching whatever show is on the TV until he turns his body to face me. His expression serious, he stares into my eyes but says nothing.
Uncomfortable, I force a smile and say, “Is there something wrong?”
He shakes his head and smiles. “No.”