Page 67 of Imbalanced Minds

Chapter Thirty-Five

Iris

Going back to Cory’s house wasn’t an option after we had the all-clear to leave the Burning Devils and after the truth was revealed, I wanted to curl up and hide away in the comfort of my own bed. Not that I knew where that was any longer.

So much for being strong and thinking I could handle it all.

After Cory unravelled the destruction that occurred at his house, I lost it completely. Hearing all of that was not good for my mental health. Although I don’t want to admit this, I really wish I stayed on my antidepressant medication; being numb and slightly human would be a sight better than being so unhinged.

Lucky for me, my old apartment hadn’t been let out yet, so the landlord let me back on a provisional lease. I didn’t really have much option in the matter when Nat moved herself back in—much to Justin’s disapproval. When Nat came home and found out what had happened, there was no changing her mind.

Justin thought it would be best for Cory to move in, but I couldn’t handle that. No matter how much I loved him, I couldn’t let him see me like this so Justin eased off and let Nat come back. Temporarily that is.

I spent most of my days holed up in my room. Thanks to my parents, I had all my belongings out of storage; it was almost like I never moved out in the first place.

No matter how hard Cory tried, I wouldn’t let him in. I stayed closed off to everyone around me and liked it better being alone. Poor Natalie, for no lack of trying, doesn’t have any effect on me either and usually she’d be the first to lift my sorrowful spirits.

Night after night she comes into my room, a panicked expression written all over her face, saving me from the nightmares and panic attacks. Every night it’s the same, but tonight’s is different. Somehow the man attacking me in my dreams is very real, but instead of stopping his assault on me, he destroys my virtue.

Bolting upright in bed, I vomit all over the blanket. Cold sweat and goosebumps cover my body as I shiver uncontrollably. Turning to gauge my surroundings, I notice I’m alone. “Where’s Nat?” I ask myself, knowing she’s usually here when a nightmare hits but I can’t see her. Sobbing noises are echoing around my room and I realise they’re coming from me.

Wanting comfort, but knowing I’m not getting any, I get up and take my blanket to the laundry. Moving at a snail-like pace, I slide out of bed and wrap my dressing gown tightly around me; hoping it’ll act as some form of protection.

My mind is delusional right now and keeps playing silly tricks on me. I wouldn’t know what I’m doing half the time if I wasn’t in bed and Nat wasn’t looking out for me.

Making my way out of my room, I hear a whispered argument. Quietly leaning against the wall as not to alert anyone, I stop and listen.

“I need to see her, Natalie!” Comes Cory’s voice from the entrance. That explains the hushed anger. He’s pissed she doesn’t want me to know he’s here.

“I know, but that won’t do anyone any good. Cory, she won’t let anyone in, not even me. She needs time.” Nat’s calm whimsical voice floats through the house. I get a punch of regret to the gut for keeping her at arm’s length. No friend deserves to be treated like this when they’ve done so much to help you. Especially my best friend.

“Look at this, then. LOOK AT IT!” I jump at Cory raising his voice. Something must be terribly wrong if he’s getting extremely upset like this.

A rather large gasp is heard, then sniffling. I have a bad feeling about this and why do I get the hint it’s all my fault?

“She can’t be. She’d tell me something like this. She knows how bad this can affect her health. She wouldn’t.” The last part is whispered under Nat’s breath.

“Nat, listen to me. This is Iris’ writing. This is hers. I found it at my place when I was clearing everything out. It fell out of a journal, which also belongs to her.”

I gasp so loud, I’m certain they heard as the room goes silent. Slamming a hand over my mouth, I close my eyes and count to ten in my head. My nostrils flare when they get a whiff of their favourite scent, my favourite scent.

Jimmy Choo,Man.

I slowly open my eyes and see Cory standing in front of me, empathy written on his features. “Why, baby girl?”

Dropping the blanket and jumping at him, I wrap my arms around his neck and sob uncontrollably into his chest. What I should be doing is running in the opposite direction, but I need his comfort right now. Pushing him away was a dick move on my part and suddenly, I regret locking him out too.

Cory brings his hand smoothly through my hair and gently down my back repetitively, calming me out of my blubbering state.

“I’ll take care of this and leave you two alone. If you need me, I’ll be in my room.” Picking up the blanket, Nat carefully carries it away.

“Angel, I need to talk with you about something, but I think you already know what that is.”

Exhaling, I let my grip release from around him and nod. The words that I want to say are stuck in my throat, so, letting him go completely, I make my way back to my bedroom, Cory following behind.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I wrap my arms firmly around my waist and bow my head to the floor. Whether it’s done as a barrier or for my own protection—I’m hesitant, nonetheless. Either way, this action is all that’s keeping me from breaking down completely.

A soft, warm hand tilts my head and directs me to look into the most compassionate, loving eyes I’ve ever seen. Holding my stare, he tells me what I’ve been dreading to hear this entire time, yet, the exact words I’ve needed to pull me from this Hell.

“It’s time you get help.”

After Cory confronted me with the letter I wrote, the one I had no time to burn while I was living at his house, I decided it was time to listen. I told Cory about the nightmares and he seems to think my conscience is to blame, especially due to the fact I was never raped. Coming close seemed good enough for my mind to play tricks on me.

“I wish I’d never told you what happened. If I hadn’t, then you’d be none the wiser and these nightmares wouldn’t be appearing. I’m sorry this has happened to you, that I wasn’t there. I feel responsible for it all. If I never left, well...” Cory trails off, looking down at the ground in defeat.

I wish I could tell him it wasn’t his fault. I wish I could be as strong for him, as he is for me. Do you think if I made a third wish it’d come true?

“Fuck, baby girl. C’mere.” Cory pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me. Knowing I’ve had the support and love of this man while I’ve been pushing him away is tearing me apart.

“You’re right. I need help.”