Page 68 of Imbalanced Minds
Chapter Thirty-Six
Iris
If anyone had put forward that, in a span of nearly four months, I would have had the best and worst experiences of my life—I would have told them to go fuck themselves. Now though, being through it all, I think it’s made me open my eyes to what I’ve been hiding from.
I never realised how screwed in the head I was until it all unravelled and I started seeing someone to help me through. Worst part, I was so self-absorbed that I’d forgotten to confront Cory about him finding my letters. It seems silly, that after all of what he read, assuming he did read them, that he’s still here willing to fight for us when I had given up on us and myself.
Truth hurts when it hits you in the face and that evening, I had my worst nightmare of all, was my final breaking point. Admitting this was worse than any of that.
A few weeks ago, I made an appointment to see my doctor for my general well-being and they set me up with a new Psychologist. I’ve been given a new round of medication; one I know not to come off on my own and one that shouldn’t make my moods go up and down like a freaking see-saw. My lady is really nice but makes me anxious with all the staring she does and extensive note-taking. Her name is Lucy, and she has a motherly air about her, mostly; maybe this is why I opened up so easily to her. She even set me some new personal goals. I have a food journal which helps me to one, eat and two, keep track of my diet—altering anything to help make improvements on my mood and also general health. The next goal she set was to write in a journal; this one is different from the letters I usually write to myself. There are two things I need to write in this journal. First, I have to write down something I like about myself (opening my mind to accepting compliments) and the other is something I am grateful for. I decided since I’m turning over a new leaf that I’d write an official ending; a goodbye to my former self.
Out is the old wallowing and self-destructive me.
In is the reformed and ‘ready to make the world my bitch’, me.
So, as I do this ‘out with the old, in with the new’ I’ll start out with a reflection on my life with a positive outlook and start my unofficial new entry here.
- While I looked in the mirror, I loved how my eyes smiled back at me.
- I’m incredibly grateful for my loving boyfriend, who’s selflessness shows no bounds.
Strength, Love and Honour,
Me xox
As I sit on the couch finishing my last ever letter, Cory strolls in (shirtless) with ease. These last few months have changed him too. He started losing the hard edge and his barriers are becoming weak. Whereas before, he was a ticking time bomb.
He spends every minute he can showing me how much he loves me. The sexy eyes he gives me are the best. Especially the ones he’s giving me right now as he saunters towards me.
We’ve been in such a good place, him and I, so good that Nat didn’t last a night longer after I admitted I needed help. She was willing to stay and keep me company, but Cory put his foot down and told us both he was staying with me for as long as it took us to move forward, and for me to heal. I should probably mention, Justin did his usual alpha caveman move of picking her up over his shoulder and carrying her out of the apartment, slapping her arse and I assume whispering very inappropriate things in her ear.
Shivering in disgust at the thought, I turn to the letter in my hand and flick the lighter. Cory sits next to me and rubs his hand up and down my inner thigh, while I carefully drop the burning letter into the metal rubbish bin. Transfixed to the flame, I watch the last of my old life burn away.
The squeeze to my leg gains my attention, I turn to look at Cory; my rock, my kingdom, my king. His gaze is so intense I melt on the spot. His palm glides over my cheek, caressing my face. The caress is so gentle, yet, my skin scorches at his touch.
I lean into the warmth and close my eyes, only to reopen them as I can’t take it anymore; the chemistry between us is unbearable, to the point I think I could scream with frustration. Reading my thoughts, he leans in taking my lips with his. Hungry for a taste and wanting, I open up to him. As the gentleness moulds into an urgent rush of tongues and lips, I moan needing more. In my impassioned daze, I barely register my body being lifted from the couch and carried toward the bedroom.
“The letter,” I manage between kisses.
“It’s out. I need you, Iris. Now.” Cory’s husky voice rumbles against my lips that are still seeking more. Lowering me on the bed, we both rip at each other’s clothes as we desperately seek one another’s bodies. Having only skin on skin contact is like no other when it comes to this man. I’m utterly screwed, and he knows it.
Reaching for the nightstand, he sheaths his erection then rubs himself up and down my entrance, teasing and torturing me.
“Ahh, God,” I cry out as he slowly enters me, kissing the sensitive area of my neck he knows gets me hot.
“Only God round here, baby girl, is me, and you’ll be yelling my name, not his when you come all over my cock.” As if I needed any more coaxing, he had to use dirty talk with me.
I’m a goner as he thrusts in and out, the rhythm becoming faster and harder. “Cory. Oh fuck,” I grab a handful of his short, soft hair as his thrusts become more urgent and punishing. I’m not even embarrassed this round will be quick because I know we have our whole future.
“Come for me Iris, now!” he demands. Without warning, I’m letting go and screaming his name again, “Cory!” Blinded, I see stars as he comes hard, just after I do.
Holding me tight yet keeping his weight from crushing me he whispers, “I love you, Angel,” into my ear. I turn my head to face him, so our lips are barely touching and whisper back with the fullness of my heart, “I love you too, big guy. More than you’ll ever know.”
Rolling over, positioning himself to lay beside me, Cory wraps his arms around me and we both lie in bed panting, yet relaxed.
I could lie here forever, if I close my eyes just so…
—
I don’t remember drifting off, as the light seeps through the crack in the curtain, blinding me.
“Morning,” hums a very sexy voice beside me.
“Morning yourself,” I protest, as I am not a morning person.
“Sweetheart, it’s after ten, we slept in.”
Amazed at this, I turn to check the clock and see it is indeed after ten. It’s actually almost eleven.
With my full bladder protesting, I slide out of bed and make my way to the bathroom. Happily taking care of business, I turn the shower on to warm up then head back to the bedroom to get my hot as fuck boyfriend to join me.
Let’s just say, shower time was just as hot as the shower itself. Neither of us could keep our hands to ourselves, which in turn had me screaming Cory’s name many times and us running out of hot water.
“Angel, I have a surprise for you,” Cory says, while we get dressed for the second time today. After our shower, we had lunch, then clean-up turned into us getting hot and dirty all over again. Ever since I started therapy, I’ve become insatiable. Neither of us can keep our hands off the other. I don’t know if it’s because I’m finally processing my emotions and becoming more open, or if it’s as simple as living our lives with very little grey cloud.
“Okay, but you know I’m not very good with surprises. I hate not knowing and being kept in the dark.” I pout and go all out with puppy dog eyes, trying to make my big guy cave. A full belly laugh is all the response I get at my failed attempt, so I try phase two. Shaking my leg like a child, I beg him to tell me what it is, but he stands his ground and just keeps laughing at me.
“If you’re not careful, I’ll divorce you.”
“Angel, we have to be married for that to happen,” Cory’s full out laugh lessens to a mild chuckle now, “and besides, you wouldn’t.”
“Don’t doubt me, big guy. I’m full of surprises too.”
“Touché.”
“So where are we going?” I say in a more chipper voice, trying to act like that conversation never happened and hoping he’ll slip.
“Ha, nice try. Not telling.”
“Dammit!” I stomp my foot hard and pout.
“If you keep that up, I’ll bend you over the couch and spank that fine arse of yours.”
I’m pretty sure that got the reaction he was after, because what he speaks next says it all. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He smirks. There is no question, as my lust for this man rises more than ever.
“Fine then, you better get this surprise over with before we both end up going nowhere.”
“You’re the boss, Angel.” Putting one foot in front of the other, I walk to his new truck, head held high, then we take off into the sunset like one of those cheesy couples from a romance movie.
Who am I kidding, we’re not boring enough to be one of them.