Page 47 of Just Mr. Love
I show up to the building downtown and wait out front for Morris. I told him I need to see him right away.
As I’m waiting, people wearing really formal duds or outrageous outfits—togas, a beehive hat, a vampire costume—are filing inside, giving me side looks like they recognize me but can’t recall from where.
“Hey. What’s so urgent? I’m in the middle of centrifuging your cum.”
I turn, and Morris is standing there in a white lab coat with little beige splatters all over it. Kind of reminds me of pancake batter.
“What happened to you?” I ask.
“Little accident with your cup, but I was able to scrape off what I needed.”
“That’s my…?”Gross.
Morris looks me over. “Nice suit.”
“Thanks. It’s for this party.” I jerk my head toward the entrance.
“Well, it was nice of you to invite me, but as you can see, I’m in the middle of something.”
He thinks I want to party with him? “Well, too bad you can’t join me, but since you’re here, I need you to go public and tell everyone you didn’t poison the city’s water, that it was all a lie.”
“Why do you want me to do that?”
“Because Kyle took River, and I need you to give an exclusive interview to a friend of mine.”
“I’m not connecting the dots, but I don’t have time for this, Huff.” He points to a clump of man-goop on his lapel. “I have hours of chemical analysis to complete.”
“Morris, I need you to do this for me. River’s life is on the line.”
“You think anyone’s going to believe me if I tell the truth? I’m a wanted man. And a criminal.”
He’s a bad person, too. The worst, actually. “Which is why I’m questioning my decision to work with you.”
“We do make a good team, though. Right?”
No. “We are not a team.”
“That’s too bad because if we were, I’d give that interview to your friend.”
Ugh.“Fine. We’re a team. Happy now?”
“Which one of us is the sidekick?” he asks.
Huh? This guy is nuts. “I am. I’m the sidekick. Will you give the interview now?”
“I always wanted to be a sidekick,” Morris pouts.
“Okay. You’re the sidekick,” I growl.
He smiles like he’s genuinely won a prize. “So where is this friend?”
Luna shows up twenty minutes later and nearly pisses herself when she sees Morris. She’s so stoked to get the interview with the mad chemist, she doesn’t even notice what’s all over his lab coat. Thank God.
Instead, her cameraman gets rolling, and she jumps directly into questioning him about the mass poisoning being a hoax. Morris tells the world how my brother was the mastermind of a conspiracy to make an army of Huffs. When Morris tells Luna that they’re holding River and his sister hostage, Luna’s red lips part and just kind of hang open. I’m not sure if she doesn’t believe him or if she’s in shock.
“Morris, can you tell us if the other rumors are true? Are you the person behind lighting the Eiffel Tower and Empire State Building on fire?”
He proudly lifts his chin. “Yep. Pretty good trick, huh? But don’t worry, the fuel only lasts for a few months. And I made sure it was only a little toxic. The first formula I came up with caused hair loss and genital warts. This one only makes your toes fall off—but just the tip.”