Page 76 of Tutor With Benefits
And now we’ve forced her to pick.
I just hate that I wasn’t her choice.
TWENTY-SEVEN
TORI
“Hey, thanks for meeting me,” I say as Johnny smiles and sits down across the table from me.
“Of course. It’s so weird to be here this time of day. I always come here for dinner, but never before then,” he says as he looks around the diner.
We both agreed to meet this afternoon after class, and I ordered a soda and a large order of french fries to share with him as I talk to him. It’s more for me than for him. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to hold myself together as I tell him the truth, but it has to be done.
And if I have something else to pay attention to, that might help me out.
Maybe.
“Same, usually,” I tell him with a small laugh. “But I haven’t been here much at all since the day I fell on that burger in front of everyone. You and I did come that one time for that date, but it just felt weird coming here after being so embarrassed.”
“I’m sure no one even thinks of that at this point, look at you,” Johnny says. “I still don’t fully believe you were that same girl. You’re so hot.”
I internally wince, but force a smile.
“Actually, that’s kind of why I want to talk to you,” I say. “And I figured what better way to do that than to have some french fries and soda as a distraction as we do?”
“A distraction from what?” he asks. “Me getting to look at how beautiful you are?”
I grin. “Okay, I’m going to have to be honest with you.”
“Uh-oh,” he says.
“So, I have crushed on you for a very long time, Johnny,” I say.
“You tell me that, but I just don’t remember,” he says.
“I know you don’t, and I understand why. I was such a wallflower and a loser, I didn’t ever want to be seen by anyone. So I intentionally stayed in the shadows, you know?”
“Yeah, I was sort of that way my freshman year of high school. But I grew out of it before I became a senior, and now look where I am,” he says.
“Right,” I say. “I never grew out of it unfortunately. I mean, not in that sense. So I spent a very long time crushing on you from a distance, just hoping one day you would notice me. I don’t know how or why I thought you were going to do that since I never did anything to get your attention, but that’s my mind for you.”
Johnny laughs as he sits back in the booth. He takes one of the french fries and eats it, then smirks at me. “But you did do something to get my attention. Evidently you went through quite the makeover to make it happen, so you should be proud of yourself for doing it, right?”
“Well, I am proud of myself for having a goal and going out and achieving it, but where I’m not proud of myself is that, well, I don’t feel like I’m being honest,” I tell him.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I don’t feel like I’ve changed that much, you know? I was just a shy girl before, and all I really changed was that I put on some makeup and dressed more revealing. The confidence I got from those things made me more outgoing, but when you saw me, it was really like you saw me for the very first time.”
“And I felt like I did,” he tells me. “When you and I first made eye contact, I felt like I was looking right into the eyes of an angel. I felt like my entire world had stopped, and all I wanted to do was get to know you.”
“But you see, that’s the problem,” I tell him.
“What is?” he asks.
“That wasn’t the first time you saw me. In fact, you admitted to me that you even made fun of me that night I fell on the burger,” I tell him.
“But you said yourself you don’t blame me for that one,” he reminds me. “You said that you can see why people would laugh about that.”