Page 119 of Voyeur

“I’m sorry. I thought…”

“You thought I’d do that to you,” Silver concluded. “I thought you trusted me, knew me more than that. You know our rules. I’ve never broken them.”

“I know,” Honor replied. “This was the first time you’ve entered this part of my life, outside of showing up at my office a couple of times. Maybe we should have waited. It’s only been a few months, really.”

“Waited longer for me to be part of the rest of your life?”

“Not like that. You are part of the rest of my life, Silver. We go out together all the time. Hell, we’ve had sex in public places together.”

“That’s sex.”

“We’ve had dates, too.”

“But we’ve never done anything like this,” Silver argued.

“No, we haven’t. And I’m sorry for thinking the wrong thing about you.”

“I think I’m going to sleep in my own bed tonight.” Silver stood up.

“Silver, it’s late. Stay. We can keep talking.”

“This is hitting me harder than I’d like to admit.”

“Silver, I’m sorry. I was wrong, babe.”

“I wanted to, Honor.”

“Wanted to what?”

“Sleep with her. Get her number.”

“Then, why didn’t you?”

“Because I told you: I wouldn’t do that to you at your own party. We have rules. That’s how this works. But yeah, I’d be lying if I said that when she suggested we meet up after, that I didn’t think about it. When she asked for my phone number, I thought about giving it to her and meeting her on another night.”

“Why didn’t you do that?”

“Because I love you, Honor. She worked the event that was important to you, and she could’ve been a regular on your circuit. I wasn’t going to fuck her and have her talk about it the next time she’s working a party. I wouldn’t want her telling her fellow bartenders that she fucked your girlfriend. I told her I had plans tonight, and I told her I had a girlfriend. She brought up that I was fucking women in a show. I told her that was only for the show and was before I met you. Now, I’m with you. But yeah, I wanted to. She was hot and had that look in her eyes that told me she’d be up for anything, but I didn’t do anything with her because I love you.”

“So, it was some great sacrifice on your part?”

Silver sighed and said, “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that I have you, Honor. You are the woman I want to spend my life with. Yes, monogamy when it comes to the sex part isn’t my thing, but I respect you enough to follow the rules we’ve set. I don’t need to risk my relationship with you by fucking someone who could get you in trouble at work. I’m just hurt that you thought that about me.”

“I’m sorry.” Honor took Silver’s hand. “Please don’t go.”

“I don’t want to. But I don’t know that I want to stay, either.”

“What do you want?”

“I wanted to come home with my girlfriend and maybe make love because we’ve hardly had time together, and I missed you, Honor.”

“Then, let’s do that,” Honor replied.

“I’m not exactly in the mood right now.”

“What can I do to make this up to you? I’ll do it, Silver. I’ll do anything.” Honor stood up.

“We’ve never fought before.”